In every organisation, conflict is inevitable. Whether it’s between teams, departments, or individuals, friction arises from differences in goals, perspectives, or communication styles. Yet, contrary to the common narrative, conflict need not be feared.
Handled well, conflict can lead to breakthroughs in innovation, improved collaboration, and stronger relationships. What separates teams that thrive in conflict from those that crumble is not the absence of conflict but the presence of the ability to manage and resolve it effectively.
One thing I’ve observed across my work as a coach is that those who lean into the discomfort of conflict, much like James Clear’s approach to embracing small habits for major transformation, experience meaningful growth. Conflict, if handled with intention, becomes a doorway to resilience and creativity.
In this blog, I’ll explore some of the latest research on conflict management, focusing on business and team dynamics, while introducing novel tools and practical steps inspired by some of my favourite thinkers, from Stephen Covey to Carol Dweck.
The Underlying Dynamics of Conflict
Conflict isn’t just about what’s on the surface. More often than not, it’s a clash of underlying values, emotions, and assumptions that fuel disagreements. This reminds me of Malcolm Gladwell’s principle of "thin slicing," where the seemingly small moments contain the essence of much bigger truths. A simple disagreement about the direction of a project may reflect deeper tensions about autonomy, recognition, or a disconnect in purpose. Does that make sense?
Teams that thrive under pressure are those that acknowledge and address these hidden layers. According to research highlighted in the Harvard Business Review, emotionally intelligent teams—those that can navigate and understand emotions in real time - are significantly better at resolving conflict in ways that actually build trust and unity. I’ve seen firsthand, in coaching leaders, how cultivating emotional intelligence through practical tools can create environments where conflicts are explored, not suppressed.
Novel Approaches to Conflict Resolution
The standard approaches to conflict - negotiation, mediation, or compromise - often only scratch the surface. They can address symptoms but don’t always resolve the root causes. In recent years, new frameworks have emerged that tap into the psychology of
teams and individual strengths, offering more sustainable solutions. These align well with approaches I’ve found useful in coaching clients through personal and team challenges.
1. The Conflict Thermometer
Inspired by frameworks such as nonviolent communication (which Marshall Rosenberg made easy to understand) and Peter Hawkins’ Seven Eyed Model, the Conflict Thermometer measures the emotional heat in a team before it reaches boiling point. Think of it as an emotional temperature check that prevents disagreements from escalating by providing a shared understanding of where tensions lie.
Implementation Tip: I’ve found it helpful to start key team meetings with a quick “thermometer (or temperature) check” when conflict is anticipated. By encouraging everyone to rate their emotional intensity, this practice opens up dialogue before emotions take control, a method I see resonate particularly well with analytical or ISTJ-type leaders.
2. Conflict Mapping
One of the tools I keep coming back to is Stephen Covey’s principle of "seeking first to understand, then to be understood." Conflict Mapping aligns beautifully with this mindset. It’s a visual tool that helps teams map out the various stakeholders, perspectives, and emotional stakes at play in any given conflict. I’ve used similar methods in sessions, using simple tools like a whiteboard to literally draw out the landscape of a disagreement.
Implementation Tip: I encourage leaders to co-create a conflict map with their teams, particularly during high-stakes projects. This turns conflict into a visual, externalised problem rather than a personal attack, which shifts the team’s mindset from defensiveness to problem-solving. Also, many think better ‘in pictures’ than ‘in words’.
3. The "Yes, And" Technique
Borrowed from improvisational theatre, the "Yes, And" technique brings a new level of collaboration into conflict resolution. This tool reminds me of techniques used in coaching conversations where instead of shutting down a client’s narrative, I build on it. Saying "Yes, and" allows teams to validate each other’s ideas and build on them, rather than negating or minimising a colleague’s perspective.
Implementation Tip: During team brainstorming or conflict resolution meetings, introduce the "Yes, And" rule. This simple practice encourages continuous dialogue and exploration of ideas rather than shutting things down too quickly. It’s one of those small changes, much like a micro-habit from Clear’s playbook, that can lead to major shifts in team dynamics.
Practical Steps to Implement Conflict Management Tools
It’s one thing to introduce new approaches, but we all know it’s another thing to effectively implement them. Here are a few practical steps I’ve found useful in bringing these conflict management tools to life in both teams and wider business environments.
1. Build Emotional Literacy
As James Clear highlights, small habits repeated consistently lead to transformational results. The same is true for emotional literacy - your team’s ability to identify, express, and manage emotions. I often work with leaders to build this capability through regular emotional check-ins. In my experience, this practice helps normalise discussions about emotions, making it easier to address conflict as it arises rather than letting it simmer.
Practical Exercise: Introduce a weekly "Emotional Pulse" survey where team members rate their emotional state and identify any emerging concerns about team dynamics. I’ve found that this ongoing feedback loop serves as an early detection system for potential conflicts. It can be lumpy when you first start, so if it doesn’t land as you’d hope, keep going. It’s well worth the effort.
2. Train in Active Listening
I’m a huge advocate of active listening, which aligns with Covey’s timeless advice: "Listen with the intent to understand, not to reply." In conflict resolution, the ability to actively listen - truly hearing someone without immediately jumping to defend or respond - is transformative. It shifts the focus from "winning" to "understanding."
Practical Exercise: In a team workshop, pair members up and have them practise active listening. One person speaks about a recent conflict they’ve encountered, while the other reflects back what they’ve heard. This not only promotes empathy but also trains team members in the art of slowing down their reactions, a principle we see in therapy and coaching all the time.
3. Practical Role-Playing
Rather than just simulating hypothetical situations, role-playing should be grounded in real-life conflicts that the team has experienced. Here’s a practical approach that I’ve used effectively: the team identifies a recent conflict, perhaps a missed deadline or a miscommunication on project goals. Each person then takes turns playing different roles—such as the project lead, the customer, and the affected team members.
During the exercise, the focus isn’t just on resolving the conflict but on examining the root causes - what assumptions were made, how communication broke down, and what emotional responses escalated the issue. This real-life application allows the team to immediately see the practical implications of their words and actions. More importantly, they can reflect on what they would do differently in the future, making the learning immediately actionable.
Implementation Tip: I recommend conducting these role-playing sessions regularly, but not necessarily frequently, especially after conflicts have been resolved. By working through real scenarios, team members can develop greater empathy for each other’s roles and responsibilities, and this develops a stronger sense of shared accountability moving forward.
4. Develop a Growth Mindset
Carol Dweck’s concept of the growth mindset underpins much of what I coach around conflict. Teams that view conflict as an opportunity to grow – rather than something to be feared – become more resilient. Leaders need to model this mindset, framing conflict as a learning opportunity. I often remind teams of Viktor Frankl’s famous idea that between stimulus and response lies our freedom to choose, and that choice is where we can grow.
Practical Exercise: After a conflict is resolved, hold a brief “growth reflection” session. I’ve seen great success in asking teams to document what they’ve learned from the conflict and how they can improve moving forward. Over time, these lessons build a playbook for the team, turning every conflict into a moment of growth.
The Power of Accountability in Conflict Resolution
I love the A word!! One consistent theme in the latest research - and something I repeatedly see in coaching - is the power of accountability in conflict resolution. When team members feel personally accountable for the outcome of conflict resolution, they approach it with far more care and ownership. Accountability is about creating a culture where it’s not just the leader’s job to resolve conflict but everyone’s shared responsibility. This approach respects not only the nature of each person’s contribution but also their very ability to contribute in this way.
Leaders can create this environment by establishing clear norms around conflict resolution, such as having designated team mediators or regular conflict retrospectives where issues are discussed without judgment. These frameworks are particularly powerful for those with ISTJ profiles (Myers Briggs Personality Test), where clear structure and expectations create a sense of control and security.
Summary: Turning Conflict into Opportunity
Conflict is unavoidable, but its impact is not set in stone. With the right tools, mindset, and framework - whether it’s Covey’s wisdom, Clear’s habits, or Dweck’s growth mindset - teams can transform conflict into a source of creativity, innovation, and resilience. Conflict, when handled well, becomes more than just a resolution; it becomes a means for teams to step up, learn, and ultimately thrive.
The challenge is not to avoid conflict but to embrace it. As Gladwell, Covey, and Clear might all suggest, the messy, complicated dynamics of conflict are often the richest spaces for growth and breakthrough. In the world of business, this ability to navigate and harness conflict is the key to long-term success.